raw

I read today
That tenderness meant
Ensuring the weight of the world remained off my bones
And though they ache
I held it there
Carefully carving a space beside me
So I laid out my rug
And I smoothed out it’s creases
And I beckoned the sun
Surely all else is meaningless.
I squeezed fresh oranges
And patiently waited
Still naked & gleaming
Fruit ripe for the taking
Your visit was brief
I’d expected you to stay
After all,
I’m holding the entire world at bay
Now I sit here alone
So confused, I wonder;
What is all this pressure I’m under?
I let myself cave
And I brace
The weight of existence
I guess I must face
–
Any other day
It would be perfect.
My most favourite things –
Yet I am utterly untethered
Liquid pours forth from my face
Faster than I can blink it away
I try to finish my mouthful but I can barely breathe
My throats closing over
And I can no longer see
My head pulses under the pressure
I’m sure to explode –
My love I really cannot bear
One more,
“I don’t know”
–
Where are you, where am I?
My hand reaches out
But I fear
Those bonds have been broke
So off, off I float
Maybe needed,
I don’t know…
Now I exist somewhere else
In a far away ether
Pulled into irrelevant orbit.
I suppose I brought myself here
And stripped myself bare
Stood before you and said,
‘This is all of me’
Fake is not something I could ever wear
–
I thought this was the way to be?
I try my best
I give love for free
Now a speck of pulp
Reefed from a fragile encasement
Some carnage to see,
I’ve been plucked from my place
Pulled apart in every different direction
And I felt every last fibre in me
Torn away
Now isolated;
I am opaque.
–
So turn me over between your fingers
Hold me up to the sun
I brought her here for us
Don’t you see what I have done?
–
I am palpable
There is no more rare than this
Surely you can see
There is not an inch more I could expose of me
Or maybe it is
That I’m the one blinded,
A blueprint imposed
Something never to be
Are you simply a reflection
Created by me?
–
Maybe I’ve stayed much too long
Although I’m not sure I could leave
Just enough pressure my dear
And my feeble walls will recede
A small phenomena
A blip
Unheard and unseen
A citrus scented implosion
A black hole you can’t see
There I dwell
Infinitely
In a place I feel free
Love the only imperative
All else is not for me
–
It is simple,
And I hope my words reach you here
For all I wanted to convey
Is that my ultimate hope
Was that you’d see me, relieved
And you’d sigh and you’d say –
I finally found you
Of course,
I will stay.